It’s highly likely that at some stage in your sexual career you’ve wondered why it is that men don’t make any noise during sex, leaving all the vocals up to the female part of the duo!
Because it’s true, for the most part men are known to be quieter if not totally silent during sex. At times this can be quite freaky and unsettling for the other partner, leading to you probably feeling like all your best efforts – gulp – are going to waste! Fo women to be more vocal than men both is for the most part normal and can be understood in both evolutionary and societal terms.
According to research men may have evolved into being quieter during sex much in the same way many animals have. In fact across the animal kingdom, females vocalise more than men. Theories around this have to do with what is (yes, brace yourself) ‘sperm competition.’ This is when a female vocalises during sex in order to attract multiple ‘other’ partners (cheeky!) in order maximise her chances of becoming pregnant! Males on the other hand stay quiet for much the same reason evolutionarily speaking – to avoid more males being present and ruining the fun!
But realistically, the majority of studies show that men’s silence during sex has a lot more to do with the fact that they are conditioned by society not to show feelings! Yep, that same reflex that tells men that yelping in pain or showing their feelings are hurt is ‘unmanly’ could apparently be making men quieter in bed. As in, showing pleasure is less masculine. Nuts!
Aside from the fact that obviously we’d aim to live in a world with less restrictive ideas of masculinity where men are allowed vocalise pleasure, there are also a few other convincing reasons why men should be louder during sex! A study into vocalization during sex showed that people who made more noise or even spoke more during sex also report more sexual satisfaction aka better sex! Noises open up to talking too, which can lead to better communication around sex and thereby getting everyone what they want!
On the reverse side of the argument, repeated studies have shown that women vocalise more during sex because – sorry fellas – they’re trying to get their partner to orgasm quicker! In fact, women’s groaning and moaning has been shown to be able to make a man orgasm!
So men make some noise, because it’s weird to have a silent bedfellow.