Ever had a relationship or even what seemed like a promising few dates suddenly come to a crashing halt without you knowing quite why? Well you’re not alone! Lots of men feel their relationships end abruptly and that there’s often no clear reason why this has happened. But as always with cases of questions that trouble a large part of the population, people turned to the oracle fo truth, Reddit.
The Subreddit Ask Women recently answered a question posed by a redditor who asked, “What was the lead-up that led to the end of your last relationship?” Not great English, but good question.
And of course immediately trends started to appear in women’s answers, the first among them being a lack of communication. “He refused to talk about any problems at all ever and just kept them bottled up,” One user wrote. “One day, he exploded and told me he had been lying to me for a year & that all these things he said were perfectly fine were actually not fine at all
I’m 100% willing to work on things in relationships, and we’d probably still be together if he had communicated issues in the moment instead of lying and saying there weren’t any issues.”
The other theme that came up aside from communication was also not listening and having the same argument over and over again about the same thing! “Arguing about the same problem over and over again,” one woman wrote. “The subject of that argument was that I felt unwanted and unloved because he didn’t show me affection. My favourite quote from him to sum up that relationship: ‘But we cuddled yesterday!’ ” The trend seemed to be towards men who simultaneously didn’t listen or take in what their partners told them to then only repeat the same rows over and over again.
Another striking pattern of behaviour was men not ever doing what their girlfriends or partners wanted to do. No matter how often they would mention what they felt like doing, the men would often ignore or forget what needed to be done! So a lot of them really ended up seeking a break-up so they could go back to living their lives independently and doing what they like doing!
Here’s what one user said: “He went away to a destination bachelor party the weekend of our anniversary. I spent the whole weekend doing things I really wanted to do – a beer festival, an event for my ball team, I went to a play…I spent quality time doing quality things with quality people. I just realized all at once that I was so much happier doing the things I enjoyed.”
There were of course a lot of answers that mentioned the term “abusive” and not in terms of violence. Women used the term to refer to men undermining them, bullying them, making them feel bad about themselves. These are also habits that perhaps we are starting to recognise but also deal with better collectively both men and women, but still it was alarming to see how often it was mentioned.
Still wondering why you were dumped or what you did wrong? Maybe think again with all the above and mind and figure out if you did any of these. You probably did…
