Feature Image: Credit to sho.com
Most people associate getting your 5 a day with eating your greens. Not for the ‘nympho’ amongst us. Many boast about how much they enjoy a session of hot, rumble and tumble with their lover and joke about being a total sex pest. For those who actually have been diagnosed with the condition, things are a little different…
Sex Addiction or a High Sex Drive?
Cultural representations have often braded women, in particular as ‘sex addicts’ for having a high sex drive. This has led to some confusion about the nature of nymphomania. With media representations of sex addiction projecting images of black latex clad, leather whip-bearing women who have a fetish for giving blowjobs; most have drawn the unfounded conclusion that nymphomania is a choice rather than a mental condition.
Common misconceptions about nymphomania
To unfurl the misrepresentations surrounding the condition of nymphomania; we must first drop the media-based stereotypes of those with a sex addition as being relentlessly horny women who lust after bad boy attention. The reality is the condition can affect anyone – young or old, male, female, heterosexual or homosexual. As noted by theconversation.com the term applies to ‘anyone who partakes in risky compulsive sexual behaviour.’ People with the condition often seek treatment due to the mental impact nymphomania has on one’s mental health. Treatment may include, ‘antidepressants, antianxiety or antipsychotic medications as well as psychotherapy’ to help to reduce symptoms.
Another common belief held by society is that the person affected enjoys sex to the extent that they actively plan to be promiscuous. This is simply not the case. Often, little or no satisfaction comes from having sex due to this serious disorder. Those with the condition frequently encounter ‘problems thinking, unwanted repetitive thoughts (obsession), and feelings of guilt, shame or inadequacy.’ Those with the disorder find it difficult to maintain lasting, meaningful relationships.
According to hypersexualdisorders.com, signs of sex addiction / nymphomania may include:
• Excessive masturbation
• Obsessing about sex to the point that it interferes with their life
• Spending a significant amount of time planning their sexual activity
• Frequent viewing of pornography or use of sexually explicit websites or other online services
• Frequent or excessive use of phone sex services
• Having multiple extramarital affairs or frequently having sex with multiple partners
• Frequent one-night stands with total strangers or prostitutes
• Staying emotionally detached from sexual partners
• Frequent sex without using protection
• Engaging in sexual behavior that directly conflicts with their personal values or religious beliefs
• Obsessing about a sexual partner who is unattainable
• Frequently engaging in paraphilias.
• The inability to stop despite the consequences
Negative stigmas have also seemingly been attached to those who either have a sex addiction and a high sex drive. This is especially prevalent for women. Preformed social stereotypes have often branded those who enjoy sex and who have a high libido as ‘slutty’, ‘trampy’ or as the ‘fallen woman’ however, what is actually wrong with enjoying sex?
Lust, pleasure and desire are all fundamentally natural and primal feelings that should be explored in order to better understand sexuality and sensuality. Fables and old wives tales have encouraged us to fear being seduced, suggesting that it would lead to a person’s ruin. Sirens, are a sure example of this. In Greek mythology, the creatures would lure unsuspecting sailors, who were entranced by their beauty and enchanting voices, to their deaths. Although there are very few amongst modern day society who believe in such a creature; the femme fatal figure has still loomed large in popular culture. Voiced or not, people often make snap judgements based on the shade of a lipstick, the height of a heel or the length of a dress.
What consists as having a High Sex Drive?
Having a high sex drive is not necessarily all about numbers. The frequency couples have sex is just one aspect of sexual awareness. Those with a high sex drive frequently feel the need to indulge in sexual activities such as masturbation, reading about sex and watching steamy scenes through the television or other media devices.
According to the Mail, ‘the average couple has sex for 7.3 minutes at a time’ and the average number of times couples have sex per week was estimated to be in the region of ‘2-3 times a week.’ Such statistics cannot be considered as an accurate representation due to large variables such as age, nationality, marital status and other such factors. For this reason it is hard to gauge whether someone has a high sex drive or not. There is often a slight imbalance in sexual needs within relationships, but if this becomes too out of kilter and one person’s desire far outweighs another, there are ways in which the situation can be addressed.
Living with a high sex drive
Those who are constantly overwhelmed with erotic feelings can learn techniques to manage such desires.
Go solo…
Masturbation is often overly simplified. Spice things up with the use of silk scarves, tassels, the use of sex toys (dildos, rabbits, sex beads), liquids… the list goes on!
Mix things up!
To achieve a greater sense of satisfaction after sex, you should attempt to keep things interesting. Smaller changes could include a change in position, using a sex toy or using foods and beverages during foreplay. More adventurous and upping the risk factor; you could look at different locations; under the stars, at a party, on a beach – just be careful not to get caught.
Bondage play, spanking and anal are also activities that also give a lot of pleasure. Looking for raunchier still? Adult B&Bs cater for couples who are looking to spice things up with rooms designed around optimising sexual pleasure.
Don’t take things personally
If your significant other is not ‘feeling it’ tonight; it does not necessarily mean that they do not lust after you as much as you do them. People often have different energy levels, hormonal levels and may have had other external influences on their mood. Do not attempt to pester or argue as this will only prolong the time in which you go without sex. Instead, focus your energies into doing something for them and if needs be, satisfying yourself. By acting in a positive and proactive way, you are likely to keep the mood between you and your S.O. positive, which means that there is more of a chance of having intimate relations when they are feeling happier and more relaxed.
Get busy!
No, not actually having sex, but filling your life with other fun-filled activities or useful tasks. Sex has a habit of lingering on the mind when you have a lot of time to think. Driving time is a key example of this. Adrenaline sports such as wake boarding, horse riding, mountain biking, fencing or surfing require a lot of concentration which will help to distract your mind from lusty fantasies. Equally, a good film can help also be an effective way of preoccupying your mind. By channeling your sexual energy into something productive, you can also use this as an opportunity to be able to tick off the important tasks that you’ve been meaning to get done.
