If you’ve been on dating apps at all in recent times you know that there seems to be a growing community of people who will choose to describe themselves as ‘open’ or more specifically ‘poly’. In fact in 2017 ‘what is a poly relationship’ was the most googled relationship term!
Polyamory and polyamorous relationships may feel like they are on the rise given the way we’ve become accustomed to seeing people openly display or announce their sexuality via dating apps or social media profiles, but actually it’s been around since time immemorial.
Polyamory can be defined as the idea that it’s possible to be romantically involved and attached to more than one person at the same time. Generally it consists in a couple who are in a romantic intimate relationship opening up to other people. Unlike say ‘open relationships’ polyamory is not just about having sex with other people but more so about the idea that you can form emotional attachments and even be in love with more than one person at a time.
But as in all setups that seem non-formulaic and free, there are in fact more rules and codes of conduct involved in polyamory than there in mainstream dating probably! That’s why it’s often referred to as ‘ethical non-monogamy’ referring to the fact that there is an intention to live by a moral and ethical value system where all parties are treated fairly and with honesty.
There’s the assumption that perhaps because people are having sex with multiple partners, they are promiscuous, but this is often far from the truth, as polyamorous relationships may involve just three people total and go on for years at a time.
In fact, polyamory isn’t quite the kinky arena of sex parties and wildness you might assume! Speaking to Vogue, Dr Heath Schechinger of University of California Berkeley says that “the emphasis [is] on being ethical and consensual, so that there is no hiding and no deception.”
According to statistics 5% of the US is in a polyamorous relationship with 1 in 5 people admitting to having been in a consensual non monogamous relationship at one stage.
Bottom line? Poly relationships are more popular than ever but more complex maintain and not for the emotionally unstable or poorly equipped.
