<\/p>\n
We can\u2019t all claim to be pros when it comes to dirty talk. That said, there\u2019s the bad and then there\u2019s the utterly ridiculous. Almost everyone can claim to have heard or experienced some corkers when it comes to what has been said between the sheets, but when we heard these, we couldn\u2019t help but cry with laughter!<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t worry, my parents have heard me have sex loooads of times!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDon\u2019t worry about the dog, he doesn\u2019t do anything, he just likes to watch.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019ve got this really sexy mix tape my ex made me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI put wind-chimes on the door to let me know if my little brother tries to peak\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cCould you dress up as a Teletubby?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOne guy asked if he could name my breasts Pinky and The Brain!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cA one night stand of mine once shouted, \u201cOooh Mr. Tumble!\u201d\u00a0 – I\u2019m not sure she realised the link to the children\u2019s show. It felt a little weird after that though as I couldn\u2019t get his image out of my head.<\/p>\n \u201cI once woke up after having had sex to find a cat nestled between us in the most awkward place possible. The guy then said, \u201coh look, pussy likes pussy!\u201d.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOne guy once presented me with a doctor\u2019s note to say he was STD free and then asked if I could provide the same!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI like it when ladies are on their period, it\u2019s like extra lube\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry about all of the fanny farts.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour cock smells like bread, could you wash it?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOne girl once said to me, your clothes smell like my Grandma whilst we were going at it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI once dated someone with the surname Taylor.\u201d We later established that it was my brother. Mood. Killer.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re lucky, I recently changed my sheets. I usually keep the same ones on for the month.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cSorry about our neighbour, we have thin walls and he sometimes cheers me on\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAfter having sex, this guy randomly passed me some panties, saying \u201cthere you go\u201d. They weren\u2019t mine\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI once had this one girl who was humming the Archers theme tune from Radio 4. She was fit, so I still finished, but I left it at that.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOne guy once mumbled, \u201cWho let the snake out?\u201d I thought he meant his cock, but he literally meant that his pet snake had escaped!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We can\u2019t all claim to be pros when it comes to dirty talk. That said, there\u2019s the bad and then there\u2019s the utterly ridiculous. Almost everyone can claim to have heard or experienced some corkers when it comes to what has been said between the sheets, but when we heard these, we couldn\u2019t help […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":807,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[368],"tags":[102,20,101],"class_list":["post-806","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-trending","tag-dirty-talk","tag-sex","tag-weird-things"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t